1d - kiss you 2

Every One Direction music video, ranked

Every One Direction music video, ranked
by Redg Camarse

With Zayn making his first public appearance after his well-documented split with One Direction, my Zayn-inflicted wound was once again re-opened and I decided to put all of my feelings into good use and do something productive: rank every One Direction music video. (Plus, I also have sore eyes which means I won’t be working for a while.)

Ranking 1D’s music videos is actually harder than it sounds so I’ve developed my own metrics to follow: First is the Kilig Factor. Kilig is that feeling you get when your crush looks at your way and flashes you a smile. It’s the feeling you get when you get a good night text that ends with a smiley face. It’s a known fact that One Direction is a boyband whose members are all good-looking. This metric answers the question: Did they exploit their good looks well enough in this video to make girls swoon like crazy?

Next is the Awww, 1D!!!! Factor. One Direction might have earned their fans through their good looks and talent, but they kept most of them because of that certain goofiness that made them easy to love. Their bromance and silly antics just makes you feel that they’re so real and that they’re just like anybody else. Only more talented and definitely better looking than some.

Last, is the Laglag Panty Factor. Laglag panty is Tagalog for panties dropping (on the floor.) Don’t deny it, everyone has the capability to go to the depths of this darker and uglier side of fangirling. We’ve all had a dirty thought or two about these boys and this metric measures just how many fanfictions a video can inspire.

We also have the Hero, which means the particular member shined exceptionally bright for that video. Let’s start, shall we?!

13. Gotta Be You

In this video, the boys are going to a campfire while singing about a girl they’ve disappointed and how they made a mistake.

It opens with Liam looking very sad in his room.

BABY LIAM PAYNE
WHAT’S WRONG BABY LIAM

This video is ranked last not because of these really weird shots of Liam, Zayn, and Niall deep in thought…

vlcsnap-2015-04-20-20h39m50s23
TWO REALLY SORRY BOYS
vlcsnap-2015-04-20-20h40m46s71
mashed potatoes, baked potatoes

but because it just lacks the kilig or fun factor. Still, 1D Fetuses are always funny to watch.

Video Hero: HARRY STYLES. Because your croons paired with your curls makes for a deadly combination.

Kilig Factor: 2
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 2
Laglag Panty Factor: 2
FINAL SCORE: 2

12. Story of My Life

Although it’s nice that we got to see photos from the boys’ childhood, this video is just boring for me. 😦 1D moonlighting as people who develop photos?!?!?

Video Hero: Louis and Zayn because they both looked mighty fine in this video .

damn son
damn son
vlcsnap-2015-04-20-20h47m43s150
😦

Kilig Factor: 1
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 3
Laglag Panty Factor: 2
FINAL SCORE: 2

11. Midnight Memories

WHY ARE THE BOYS IN A PARTY? You want me to believe the boys would actually go to a lame party?!/!/1 I thought it was ‘straight off a plane to a new hotel?!?‘ In my opinion, they missed a great opportunity for a great music video. I know that you don’t just do silly things, boys.

1D-MidnightMemories
Harry signaling old ladies to call him should not evoke so many reactions from my body.

Video Hero: Liam, because they way he sang ‘five foot something with the skinny jeans‘ just makes my body tremble with pleasure. And the wink as he continued the song with a ‘don’t look back, baby, follow me.’ YES, LIAM! I WILL FOLLOW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kilig Factor: 2
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 3
Laglag Panty Factor: 2
FINAL SCORE: 2.33

10. Little Things

The boys keep it real in this video by just having a regular jamming session inside the recording studio. WHOEVER DID NOT DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN WHEN HARRY’S LIP WAS CURLING UPWARD INTO A SMALL SMILE WHEN HE SANG ‘you still have to squeeze into your jeans‘ IS A MONSTER WITH NO HEART

Also, look out for Zayn poking Harry’s cute face

cutie
cutie

Video Hero: Zayn because look at that perfect beard and that perfect face. AND THOSE EYES! JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME, RIGHT NOW. PLEASE!

1D-LittleThings
just stop it, please?!

Kilig Factor: 4
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 2
Laglag Panty Factor: 3
FINAL SCORE: 3.33

9. What Makes You Beautiful

The boys are just singing about how beautiful I am while hanging out by the beach. There were also with three other random girls, IDK. This is the video where Louis got pulled over for driving too slow.

This video ranked higher than Midnight Memories because this is the video that cemented my love for Harry Styles. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE PERFECT

Video Hero: HARREHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Purely because of that face to face serenade.

STOP IT
STOP IT

Kilig Factor: 3
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 2
Laglag Panty Factor: 3
FINAL SCORE: 2.66

8. Steal My Girl

This is one of the videos wherein 1D is aware that they’re going to make a music video. Bonus points because of Danny DeVito saying the word ‘balls.’

In this video, the boys represent certain abstract concepts and in DeVito’s words: ‘bring life to the desert.’ They then do silly and random things such as getting in between two sumo wrestlers, dancing on top of a huge cage, and doing a tribal dance. It then ends with the boys singing and dancing under fake rain and DeVito declaring it was an ‘all right’ shoot.

Shoutout to the boys’ CLOTHES BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO ON POINT. From Harry’s animal print jacket to Niall’s immaculate white shirt–their wardrobe in this video is so perfect!

1D-Steal My Girl
stop being so perfect

Video Hero: It’s a tie between Liam (the leather jacket just kills me over and over again) and Zayn because him looking up as Danny announces his concept as ‘Mystery’ always makes me pause and rethink my life choices.

1D - Zayn Steal My Girl
kung lahat ng manghuhula sa quiapo ganito itsura, wew

Kilig Factor: 2
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 3
Laglag Panty Factor: 4
FINAL SCORE: 3

7. One Way Or Another

Personally, I really want to rank this video higher because the 1D making their own video while on tour is too precious! No other One Direction video can make me laugh out loud as this one. Especially when Niall’s shower scene is up.

1D - One Way Or Another Teenage Kicks Niall
WHY NIALL????
1D - One Way Or Another Teenage Kicks Niall
WHY?!!?!?

Lookout for Louis doing some really good eyesex to the camera from 2:25-2:35

Video Hero: Sorry, Liam, but the winner is everyone but you. It’s not your fault, it’s just that your other bandmates are just way too sillier than you and you just pale in comparison

such
such
vlcsnap-2015-04-21-16h18m23s109
cuties
vlcsnap-2015-04-21-16h21m18s69
😦
vlcsnap-2015-04-21-16h22m26s243
</3

 

Kilig Factor: 3
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 5
Laglag Panty Factor: 2.5
FINAL SCORE: 3.5

6. Night Changes

It hurts to watch this video. The last music video with all five boys, Night Changes depicts One Direction going on separate dates with the camera, making the viewer feel that they’re their dates. What’s more painful is that ZAYN MALIK IS EASILY THE MOST HANDSOME AND HOTTEST PERSON IN THIS VIDEO. A few seconds in, as Zayn is beckoning his date (me) towards the back entrance of a restaurant, my panties are already on the floor. I WOULD FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, EVEN IF IT’S A SEEDY WAREHOUSE, ZAYN MALIK. And even in you have wet spaghetti hair.

1D - night changes
😦 i’ll never forget u

This video also redeemed Liam for me! Him raising his arms in while fake bragging when he won me a teddy bear. I WUV U BEAR-Y MUCH, LIAM

1d - night changes liam
nanalo ka na sa puso ko, liam

Video Hero: Zayn and Louis’ hair.

1d - night changes hair
CAN WE JUST
1d - night changes hair
DISCUSS THIS

Kilig Factor: 5
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 2
Laglag Panty Factor: 5
FINAL SCORE: 4

5. One Thing

The video that started it all for me. The second Liam opened his beautiful mouth and sang about trying to play it cool, I was a goner. IT WAS THEN FOLLOWED BY HARRY MAKING WACKY POSES AND MY LIFE ISN’T MINE ANYMORE. The video then follows the boys around London all color-coordinatedly dressed which makes me hate UK for having all of the cool things I like.

Video Hero: As much as I love Harry and Liam in this, the hero for this one is Baby Zayn because HE’S SO ADORABLE.

one thing - 1d - zayn
abububububu

Kilig Factor: 4
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 4.5
Laglag Panty Factor: 3
FINAL SCORE: 3.83

4. You & I

I have to admit, I wasn’t a big fan of this video when it was released. But then I realized that You & I is such a beautiful and amazing song and I would love anything that goes with it.

Video Hero: Zayn. Since Zayn had his hair shaved, this is an alert to search for the salon where he got it cut BECAUSE HIS HAIR IN THIS VIDEO IS SO FLUFFY AND SOFT YOU CAN CREATE THE MOST AMAZING MAKE-UP BRUSHES WITH IT.

1d - zayn - You and I
Zayn on your face, whenever u like it

THAT SUPER MEGA CLOSE-UP OF HARRY’S FACE.

1d - harry - you and I
I just want to rub my computer screen all over my body.

Also, Zayn’s high note just kills me every. single. time. This song would play as my bridal march, and I would enter at around 2:40, when the guitar riff starts. Woah guitar riff, dami ko alam.

Kilig Factor: 5
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 3.5
Laglag Panty Factor: 5
FINAL SCORE: 4.5

3. Live While We’re Young

The boys wake up during their camping trip and then proceed to jam around while sitting around a non-existent campfire. They then do silly things such as swim in a river, drive fast in a car, and try to walk in balls.

This video just shows the boys are really good friends with each other. If you scrutinize every move they make, you can see them just bro-ing it out. YOU CAN’T FAKE FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT. THEY REALLY LIVED WHILE THEY WERE YOUNG.

Also, Zayn and Harry, please take your shirt off. It’s good as gone anyway.

Video Hero: ZAYN, BECAUSE HE’S SUCH A STAR IN THIS VIDEO. (He was even in the middle whenever they walk around in a line) He really shined and let loose here and he’s just so much fun to watch. WHY OH WHYYYY ZAYN DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US?!

1d - live while we're young - zayn
stahp

Kilig Factor: 4.5
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 5
Laglag Panty Factor: 4.5
FINAL SCORE: 4.66

2. Best Song Ever

PERSONALLY, THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ONE DIRECTION VIDEO. Zayn as a smoking hot secretary should warrant a hundred point bonus and Louis and Liam checking him/her out should also get the video 500 points each. However, I’m trying to be as fair and rational here. (I’m failing, I know)

In this video,  the boys are talking with big film execs with how their movie would look. Naturally, other people’s ideas of what they should do gets shut down by the boys as they sing a song which in no way answers how their movie should look like. THE SONG IS ABOUT GEORGIA ROSE WHOM THEY MET ON THE DANCEFLOOR, GUYS. How could that translate to This Is Us???!?! But you’re One Direction so I forgive you.

Zayn checking his female self out equals to a thousand points and Harry/Zayn moments merits one billion bonus points. I also loved how they did all of their dance moves and then some in this video! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

Video Hero: ZAYN BECAUSE ZAYN MALIK AS HOT SECRETARY

1d - best song ever - zayn
YES
1d - best song ever - zayn
im so confused

Kilig Factor: 5
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 5
Laglag Panty Factor: 4.5
FINAL SCORE: 4.83

1. Kiss You

This video is number one because you can watch it a bajillion times over and over again because there’s just so much going on in every scene! In fact, this is where I learned that you must at least watch a 1D video five times, and focus on one member per watch.

This video shows the boys in different sets as they’re singing about convincing a girl to let them kiss them. No video hero for this one because All of them are equally cute and hot BUT SHOUT OUT TO LOUIS AND HIS PERFECT HAIR.

It just shows the boys having fun and you can feel that they had a great time making the video. There are also bits of stuff for obsessed fans such as Zayn’s floaters (he can’t swim) and Harry covering his two extra nipples.

AND THE ENDLESS COSTUME CHANGES! MY BODY CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH!

1d - kiss you
IT’S
1d - kiss you
OFFICIAL
1d - kiss you
I’M
1d - kiss you
DEAD

Kilig Factor: 5
Awww 1D!!!! Factor: 5
Laglag Panty Factor: 5
FINAL SCORE: 5

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